sometimes the haters have a point

Taking criticism and/or being critical of oneself are things with which a lot of people struggle. It’s difficult for many people to listen to someone telling them what they’ve done wrong, or what they need to fix. There are also many who are too hard on themselves and think they never do anything right. Personally, I like getting notes, and I like hearing what I’ve done wrong in a performance and what I could do to make something better. I enjoy criticism and I try to be in a constant state of active self-improvement.

It’s really important to realize that criticism isn’t usually that critical, or rather, it usually isn’t meant to be negative or harsh. Even so, it can be hard to see it as anything but. It’s good to look at criticism as something positive. Think of it like this: if someone puts a big box in front of you, don’t see it as something they’re doing to block your way. On the contrary, see it as something that you can climb upon to lift yourself to a higher spot. This is a super hard thing to do, but it’s way better than stopping on the path altogether.

Even I, who like hearing suggestions about what I could do better, don’t necessarily take well to criticism IRL. For example, I recently dyed my hair. It’s no longer pink, but now sort of a silver color with purple.

Here is (sort of) a picture of what it looks like. The purple is much darker near the ends, which is the part I'm not super keen on.

It’s not exactly as I would have liked it to look, but I don’t dislike it and I really loved it when I first got it done. Despite the fact that this is how I feel about it and it’s my hair, someone saying “Yeah, I liked it better pink too,” is not what I want to hear. Criticism is fine, good even, but not when there isn’t anything anyone can do about it. If someone finishes a show, you tell them it was amazing even if it wasn’t. If you’re a director watching a rehearsal, that's a different story. There is time to make changes and you’re the person in a place to make those changes. However, I would definitely recommend against telling someone what’s wrong or what you dislike about something that is unchangeable (even if it is just for the time being). No one wants to hear “you should have done this.” Instead, how about “maybe next time try…”? That way, the criticism isn’t quite so harsh, even if you have exactly the same intent.

If you’re criticized and don’t agree with what someone is saying, don’t take it. It’s your life, and even if you yourself know you could have done better, remember that there’s almost always a next time. Be yourself, and continue to try to be the best version of that person. Improvement has its downsides, but it’s definitely better to go up than down. Looking back at something you’ve done in the past and thinking about how much better you could do it now, or just cringing at how awful it was, is a sucky feeling. Whether it’s a piece of writing, a performance, or even something you said to someone or how you reacted to a certain situation, feeling this way about anything is generally a lame experience. However, it’s all the better for you to make that comparison and see how far you’ve come.

Know when you need to improve, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember how cool you are, and if you don’t know that, find some better friends.

TTFN:) - Sam

what happens when you don't talk for a day

As I've probably said a million times on here before, I’m generally considered a loud person. As I explained to my friend Cris, it’s not exactly that I’m loud (although I am), it’s more that I’m just constantly spewing a stream of noise. If I’m not talking, I’m trying to talk, and if I’m not doing that I’m singing. This year, I decided that I would participate in GLSEN’s Day of Silence. For those who don’t know, Day of Silence is a day on which students all over the nation are invited to take a vow of silence to shed light on the silence faced by LGBT+ youth due to harassment and oppression.

I honestly thought it would be one of the hardest things I would ever do. Truthfully, I couldn’t think of anything that would classify as being more difficult than that. This was in part because I didn’t think very hard about difficult past experiences, but also because I am ‘a talker.’ I emailed all of my teachers beforehand, and I also had two little cards explaining my silence, one in both English and one in Spanish.

the card

I got off to a strong start. I didn’t talk to my mom in the morning, but we both know a little bit of American Sign Language so that wasn’t a problem. I just showed the card to everyone I talked to that day and they understood. I only got positive responses, which was a huge surprise. I have extremely accepting friends who would never say anything truthfully homophobic, transphobic, or generally offensive, so I wasn’t surprised in that regard. However, many people in my high school’s Gay-Straight Alliance who had previously participated in Day of Silence said that they couldn’t make it through the whole day because of the comments to which they felt the need to respond. Therefore, I was ecstatic at the responses I received, which were all along the lines of either curiosity, expressing that they were proud of me for participating, or just flat-out supportive.

I only had a few slip-ups, which was also a bit of a surprise to me. I talked a little bit during science, as we had a substitute teacher and I was working with others. Other than that, and when I exclaimed “ew!” at someone saying their chips tasted like something which I honestly can’t remember at the moment, I made it all the way through the school day and the bus-ride home without a peep.

My awesome lip tattoo and super comfy GSA shirt.

All along I had been planning to only do it during school, therefore I completely broke the vow when I walked in the door of my house. The way I see it, the point is to raise awareness (as well as of course experiencing the silence yourself). When you’re home alone with no one else to “hear” that silence, what’s the real reason to stay silent? Reede was also having her birthday party that day and I didn’t really want to not talk the whole time.

All in all, Day of Silence was definitely a success for me. I heard from some friends that also participated that they did get some annoying comments, but the response I got was 100% positive. For anyone considering participating in the future, I would definitely recommend it, as it was a super awesome experience and it's a really great way to raise awareness for the silence that LGBTQIA+ kids are forced into on a daily basis.

Ttfn,

Names are a box

(Btw, if you haven’t picked up on the names are a box thing, watch my TEDx Talk (I’ll link it whenever I perform it and get the video, so this "explanation" isn't actually helpful. Sorry (not really).).

your art doesn't suck

One of the things that drives me insane is when people say they’re “bad” at art. There is no bad art. Bad art is the oxymoron of oxymorons, and hardly anyone seems to realize it. First of all, define art. So many things could be defined as art. My pink hair is art. Makeup is art. Acting is art. Writing is art. Music is art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, etc. are art too, but those are the more obvious examples, as people tend to associate “art” with traditional forms of visual art. So, what counts as art, and what makes that art better than any other art? There are things that look good and things that don’t look good, but the way to make art good is to put your heART into it. The best art expresses an emotion, at least in my opinion. One of the best ways to 1) make your art look/sound/feel like you want it to and 2) put your heart into it is to PRACTICE. That sounds super cliché, but there’s a reason people say “practice makes perfect." Practice won’t make perfect, because perfect doesn’t really exist (again, especially in art because the definitions of both “art” and “perfect” are really open for interpretation); however, practice can at least make better.

I used to be complimented on my drawing abilities almost constantly. The fact that I could draw became my defining quality. At my old school, we used to do these activities where we would write compliments to everyone on a big poster. You could write whatever you wanted, as long as it was a nice little note or a compliment. I have multiple pieces of big construction paper on which a fourth of the comments are praising my artistic talents. It became the default when people didn’t know what to say. If someone didn’t like me very much, or didn’t know me, they would use that as their compliment. Sure, my friends told me I was great at art as a genuine compliment, and I didn’t disregard that. However, it became such a normal thing that I became almost sick of people telling me that I was talented. “I know,” I said, “but is that all?" (whether in- or outside of my head, I’m not sure). If you haven’t received exessive complimenting on a certain trait, that probably sounds really snobbish or self-absorbed. Really, though, I’m just telling it how it is. It’s interesting, as I was having a conversation with my friend who encounters almost the same situation daily. She has a very successful art account on Instagram and sells her work. People compliment her all the time, and after awhile she and I both found that it almost lost its meaning. From certain people, it’s truly genuine, and that means a lot. However, when you hear something so often, it starts to feel a little bit like, “Okay, I get it, what else is new?” It’s not that she, nor I for that matter, don’t appreciate it and feel really good when people comment on our talent. It’s more that it feels like it has become an almost obligatory statement. It’s not that it’s not true, it’s simply become the norm, in a way.

These days, due to the fact that I don’t draw as much as I used to as a direct result of my least favorite occurrence in the universe (commonly referred to as ‘homework’), my mad skills are not commented upon quite as much. Few of my friends know how large a part of me drawing is/was. This is super weird for me, even after almost two years out of the environment in which I was art-famous. I don’t mind it; honestly it’s kind of refreshing not to be constantly identified as “that one girl who’s good at drawing.”

Good art??? (original characters)

All in all, the whole thing about “good art” and “good artists” is kind of bs. What makes someone good at art are their ideas, not their talent. Anyone can get good at something with practice. Sure, some have more raw talent than others, and some are born into it. However, “that’s interesting” is a better compliment than “that’s pretty." Things that are interesting and pretty at the same time get bonus points (although there are some cases in which intentional non-beauty is a really cool choice). Point being, everyone has the potential to be ‘good' at art.

Good ideas=good art.

Au revoir,

Names are a box