Taking criticism and/or being critical of oneself are things with which a lot of people struggle. It’s difficult for many people to listen to someone telling them what they’ve done wrong, or what they need to fix. There are also many who are too hard on themselves and think they never do anything right. Personally, I like getting notes, and I like hearing what I’ve done wrong in a performance and what I could do to make something better. I enjoy criticism and I try to be in a constant state of active self-improvement.
It’s really important to realize that criticism isn’t usually that critical, or rather, it usually isn’t meant to be negative or harsh. Even so, it can be hard to see it as anything but. It’s good to look at criticism as something positive. Think of it like this: if someone puts a big box in front of you, don’t see it as something they’re doing to block your way. On the contrary, see it as something that you can climb upon to lift yourself to a higher spot. This is a super hard thing to do, but it’s way better than stopping on the path altogether.
Even I, who like hearing suggestions about what I could do better, don’t necessarily take well to criticism IRL. For example, I recently dyed my hair. It’s no longer pink, but now sort of a silver color with purple.
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| Here is (sort of) a picture of what it looks like. The purple is much darker near the ends, which is the part I'm not super keen on. |
It’s not exactly as I would have liked it to look, but I don’t dislike it and I really loved it when I first got it done. Despite the fact that this is how I feel about it and it’s my hair, someone saying “Yeah, I liked it better pink too,” is not what I want to hear. Criticism is fine, good even, but not when there isn’t anything anyone can do about it. If someone finishes a show, you tell them it was amazing even if it wasn’t. If you’re a director watching a rehearsal, that's a different story. There is time to make changes and you’re the person in a place to make those changes. However, I would definitely recommend against telling someone what’s wrong or what you dislike about something that is unchangeable (even if it is just for the time being). No one wants to hear “you should have done this.” Instead, how about “maybe next time try…”? That way, the criticism isn’t quite so harsh, even if you have exactly the same intent.
If you’re criticized and don’t agree with what someone is saying, don’t take it. It’s your life, and even if you yourself know you could have done better, remember that there’s almost always a next time. Be yourself, and continue to try to be the best version of that person. Improvement has its downsides, but it’s definitely better to go up than down. Looking back at something you’ve done in the past and thinking about how much better you could do it now, or just cringing at how awful it was, is a sucky feeling. Whether it’s a piece of writing, a performance, or even something you said to someone or how you reacted to a certain situation, feeling this way about anything is generally a lame experience. However, it’s all the better for you to make that comparison and see how far you’ve come.
Know when you need to improve, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember how cool you are, and if you don’t know that, find some better friends.
TTFN:) - Sam
