if you're down, this'll cher you up

This morning I woke up with a sore throat, which sucks. I’m sure I’ll be fine by seven o’clock tonight, when I have a performance, but it’s really one of the more uncomfortable sensations that one can experience. To cheer myself up a bit/rest-without-sleeping-because-I-woke-up-at-seven-thirty-and-couldn’t-fall-back-asleep, I decided to look at Cher tweets.

If you haven't been welcomed into the land of Cher's tweets, allow me to invite you to be so. From here.

First of all, Cher is a diva and a goddess. I mean, just look at this woman.

Cher also donated 181,440 bottles of water to Flint, Michigan, residents in response to her disgust at the situation.

She’s an icon, obviously, and completely gorgeous in all stages of her life.

She even rocked '80s exercise-wear. Who can pull that off? From here.

For those unenlightened by the world of Cher’s tweeting, allow me to give some insight. Cher has become famous (as if she weren’t before) for her strange tweeting habits, including CAPS LOCK and using lots of emojis (especially the ghost). A lot of her tweets make no sense, and some are just outright sassy as hell. So, without further ado, let me CHER with you some of my favorite Cher tweets (I couldn’t help myself.).

Cher just saying hello:

"@cher  hi"

Cher on her job:

"Whats going on with mycareer"

Cher on technology:

"Something  is  amiss  with iPad"

And:

"ipad freezing up! Maybe it's overwhelmed,because it Just realized A Fabulous DIVA Was touching it ! Can't really Blame it, "SNAP OUT OF IT""

Cher getting desperate:

"Please RT"

Cher on politics:

On Donald Trump skipping the FOX Debate:

"Trump NOT Doing FOX Debate Cause Of MEGAN KELLY😂Some1 Get Him TOE SHOES,fking PRIMA DONNA. HOW CAN HE FACE ISIS,HE CANT FACE A CHICK ON TV.🐕"

On Trump again:

"@[person]

Donald Trump Can't come up with a hairstyle that looks human,how can he come up with a plan to defeat ISIS."

And again:

"I'll NEVER GO TO MACY'S AGAIN ! I didnt know they sold Donald Trump's Line! If they don't care that they sell products from a LOUDMOUTH"

And... again:

"@[person] IF HE WERE TO BE ELECTED,IM MOVING TO JUPITER😖"

When asked if she liked Ted Cruz or Donald Trump better:

"@[person] that's like saying "would you rather have a Migraine or Throw Up""

Still a teen at heart:

"Talked for 3 hrs!

R we teens ?

Yah !

Just old ones !"

When someone called her ugly:

"@[person] ITS CHER YOU'RE UGLY.It may be true,all things change,but i have invisible Powers that make up for what I lack in looks🌟

BYE💋"

Someone called her old:

"@[person] @[other person] I AM OLDER THAN FIRE,& TWICE AS HOT !!!"

Someone else called her old:

"@[person] U GOT THAT,Bitch '"

Someone told her she looked old:

"@[person] Thats cause I'm 98 ! I think I look Quite"Well Preserved "4 my age! What til u r 1/2 my age & twt me again,Sweetcheeks! Nite"

Cher, the tween?:

"Just walked in ! God,It's Fun Being a Tween 👻"

Cher, acknowledging her flaws:

"Just cause i cant spell or know Grammar doesn't mean i don't know Many things! HISTORY, Ancient Religion,War,Could go on,but id b a pain !"

Cher being Cher:

"Got to go back & polish my Cher impersonation"

This profound question:

"Can anyone c me"

Cher on kittens:

"Later Kittens r up to no good.

OMG KITTENS ARE HARD CORE"

This??:

"GAY UNIVERSE WILL HAVE

"Exquisite"lighting RT[...]"

When Cher couldn't make up her mind:

"@[person] think fk u & bless u at the same time !"

When someone called Cher something BAD:

"@[person] Oh stop ! You'll give me a SWELLED HEAD ! Read it in my Voice, then add Fk u at the end 💖"

Someone told her to "stick to music cher. plenty of know it alls telling people whats good for them as it is then slip and die in their tub." Her reply:

"@[person]

Don't WANT TO HEAR ONE Word of your uneducated

Opinion.

I'll take My chance in the bathtub!Go

unclog your

Arteries"

Cher on herself (in reply to "Do I need some kind of degree to decipher @cher's tweets?"):

".@[person] No,but u might need 2unfollow her.The Bitch is Obtuse, Opinionated,OutThere,Obviously Unstable,Original,but ONESTLY Who Cares"

Onestly, who does?

When someone told her that @cher means 'cheap' in French ("#themoreyouknow"):

".@[person]

ACTUALY..... It Means......

"EXPENSIVE" ..

& "DEAR"

1.C'est Trop Cher !

2. Je reviendrai mon Cher💘"

This sick burn (in response to "@cher DID THE REAL CHER TWEET ME? No because YOU NEVER TWEET ME #ANGRY #CHERCREW"):

".@[person]

Would you Like some Cheese With That WHINE,

NASTY BRAT"

When this happened:

Wishing everyone a happy V-Day:

"Happy Valentine's Day ‼️Sorry I'm so late,

WAS busy all day till

Now & 4got everything ‼️

Have some young friends 4movie, popcorn & candy, bye"

Not to mention her bio:

"Stand & B Counted or Sit & B Nothing. Don't Litter,Chew Gum,Walk Past Homeless PPL w/out Smile.DOESNT MATTER in 5 yrs IT DOESNT MATTER THERE'S ONLY LOVE&FEAR"

In conclusion:

"O well life is hard & then u die RT @[person] @cher Did you know you're known for having the most difficult to understand tweets over here?"

Now that you've read these tweets, I'm sure you're life is more fulfilled. You're welcome.

Cher:

".@[person]

I DONT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE.....

IM CHER 👻"

(From here.)

Follow @cher on Twitter for more entertaining tweets like these.

Thanks for sticking with. I'm going to go drink some tea.

xx

a prank for people who don't want to be too mean

As stated on this page, I love to make a ruckus with my keyboard. I take piano lessons now, but one of my only regrets is quitting piano in the second grade. I don’t remember why I started playing piano originally. It wasn’t because my parents told me to, or because my friends thought it was fun, or even because I genuinely thought it would be a good skill to have. I have no idea. Well, I actually do vaguely remember thinking that it would be cool to play songs by Taylor Swift.

Regardless, I began taking piano lessons at my house from the music teacher at one of the public elementary schools. I also wanted to learn how to play the flute. Although now this has almost no appeal to me, it was something that I really thought was important that I do. My teacher suggested that I learn to play the recorder first, as sort of a “gateway instrument” to the flute. Thus, I started taking lessons, dedicating half the allotted time piano, half to recorder. Slowly, my interest in piano ebbed away as I realized that I was playing Mary Had a Little Lamb, not You Belong With Me. Recorder edged piano out of my lessons, and I finally stopped playing piano altogether. Recently-ish, around the beginning of this school year, I started playing piano again. My friend is hardcore amazing at piano, and I kind of couldn’t live with the fact that I didn’t know how to play.

Mini life lesson: If you can’t live without doing something, do it.

I started taking voice lessons at the same time as piano, so I now do half-piano, half-voice lessons. This time, though, I really enjoy both piano and voice, so I don’t think I’ll end up quitting either one.

I love being able to play piano. Even though I’m not Beethoven quite yet, it’s still one of my favorite things to do. There are pianos in the band room in my school, as well as the drama room, so sometimes I’ll just randomly play the piano between classes and at lunch. It’s good to have a few actual songs memorized, because Heart and Soul can only be a masterpiece so many times. Speaking of which, Heart and Soul:

Heart and Soul in and of itself is one of my favorite pastimes. (If you are unfamiliar, skip to the video at the bottom.) More specifically, translating Heart and Soul into every key possible is one of my favorite pastimes. Let me preface this with the fact that I am not a person who loves pranks. Despite this, I love to play Heart and Soul in the key of A major. You may be very confused, and this is completely rational. How is that a prank, double question mark, you may ask.

Allow me to explain. Most people don’t automatically know what key a song is being played in upon hearing it. I’m sure there are some people who can, but the majority of the people I know don’t have that ability. Anyway, for those who don’t know, Heart and Soul is usually played in the key of C major. Therefore, if the bottom chords are being played in A major, pianist number two is expecting to join in with the melody in the key of C. When they do so, however, it sounds horrible and screwed up when the background is being played in A, and the melody chimes in, plunked out in C. It’s a really fun thing to do, and I highly suggest playing Heart and Soul in the key of A major. 

In order, the fingering for the chords for Heart and Soul in A major go as follows (keys to play with pink lines):

Original image from here.

You can play it any way you like, but here’s an example video:

Have fun screwing people up! I know I do, and remember: you’re doing no harm, so this prank is okay.

Cheers, and I hope this post made some sort of sense so that you can revel in your own piano playing glory.

xx Names are a box

two things that keep a lot of people sane: friends and music

What I’ve come to realize in the past year is that you don’t need one best friend. If you have one, that’s fantastic. If you don’t, that’s also fantastic. All you need are people that understand you and love you for being the weird person you are. Expecting to have one single best friend at all times is an unrealistic expectation to which to hold yourself, and it does you no good. Do what you do to make you happy, but don’t go searching or picking people to be your BFFL because you feel like that’s the only way to go about life.

As I see it, there is very rarely going to be one person that fulfills all of your friendship needs (don’t get out your pitchforks quite yet, there are exceptions). Similarly, it’s rare that you’ll find one song that you can listen to in any mood.

Backing up a tad: absolutely everyone in my friend family is writing blog posts about us. We call ourselves “Squad,” which seems super annoying and I like to think that we’re being ironic, but honestly it’s more of a title than anything else. We’re a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower. (Just kidding, none of those descriptors are accurate.) We’re a pretty weird cake-mix group of private school chicks, a Californian, guys who fight other people for leisure, and this other kid whose hair is made of gold.

We're not the Breakfast Club but here's a picture anyway. (photo credit)

Everyone else did cute little lists of “what everyone is” (i.e. book characters, music notes, etc.), and as the official squad Educator on Real Music and Other Important Things Such As Weird Sports Interview Videos, I thought it would be fitting to give everyone a song (or four). So, without further adieu, here is Squad + other friendlies as songs (a.k.a. The Playlist Based on People I Like, As Referred to by Their Secret Names That Aren’t Really Secret, As Well As One Sentence First Impressions Because That Adds Interest):

Goldilocks - Who is this kid that everyone is talking about?

      Dancing Through Life - Norbert Leo Butz (Wicked)

      Electric Feel - Brooke Adee (cover)

      Ghost (1 Mic, 1 Take) - Halsey

      Jenny from the Block (Track Masters Remix featuring Styles & Jadakiss) - Jennifer Lopez, Jadakiss & Styles P

Bub - That guy is cool-looking.

      Alphabet Boy - Melanie Martinez

      Ribs - LORDE

      Swim Good - Frank Ocean

      El Perdón - Nicky Jam & Enrique Iglesias

Papaya (a.k.a. The Taller Jew) - She’s the only person that can call me Sam.

      Shiksa Goddess -  Norbert Leo Butz (The Last Five Years) (How ironic.)

      Roll With the Punches - Lenka

      Hermit the Frog - Marina and the Diamonds

      A Higher Place - Adam Levine

La Playa (a.k.a. The Shorter Jew) - Someone told her I was shy?

      Seventeen - Marina and the Diamonds

      It Can’t Be True - 13 Original Broadway Cast

      The Scientist - Holly Henry (cover)

      Secrets - Mary Lamberts

The Oracle - All I remember is doing little children ballet together.

      Milk and Cookies - Melanie Martinez

      Dead Girl Walking (Reprise) - Heathers (Cast)

      Solitaire - Marina and the Diamonds

      Almost - Bowling For Soup

Spanish Professor - This guy is a mute (but actually just doesn’t speak English).

      Cheap Sunglasses - RAC

      Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song) - Billy Joel

      See Through - Pentatonix

      Ride (layered) - twenty one pilots

Mozart - He plays four billion and a half instruments whoa.

      Everything Else - Jennifer Damiano (Next To Normal)

     Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

      All That’s Known - Jonathan Groff (Spring Awakening)

      Don’t Wait - Mapei

Oblivious - Whence did this older human come?

      Your Song - Ellie Goulding (cover)

      Can’t Pin Me Down - Marina and the Diamonds

      Headphones - Matt Nathanson (feat. LOLO)

      A Miracle Would Happen - Norbert Leo Butz (The Last Five Years)

The Mind - I’M A FAN.

      Soap - Melanie Martinez

      Obsessions - Marina and the Diamonds

      It Won’t Be Long Now - Karen Olivo (In The Heights)

      Blue - Troye Sivan (feat. Alex Hope)

Rayos - Preschool, good times.

      No Me Diga - In The Heights (Cast)

      Coming Up Roses - Kiera Knightley

      La la Land - Demi Lovato

      Uncharted - Sara Bareilles

Kitten - Baby swimming lessons.

      White Teeth Teens - Lorde

      Future Fantasy - Beckii Cruel

      Who Needs You - The Orwells

      WILD - Troye Sivan

The Guys

      Expressing Yourself - Billy Elliot

The Girls

      Candy Store - Heathers (Cast)

These are super random and seemingly sort of unrelated to these people, but they just fit somehow. I hope you all enjoy your songs, and I hope everyone else enjoys as well!

Ciao xx
Names are a box