Books. I like books. I like them a lot. Books are words that turn into images without one stroke of a pen to make the picture, because it’s all in your head. It’s a bit like Alice. I take it back; it’s exactly like Alice.
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Because of life, I haven’t had much time to read books lately, but somehow they always manage to keep in my life and keep me sane (or make me go insane). As of late, the books in my life have been few, but without further adieu, I present them to you, all in a queue (which is a fancy word for line, ooh):
The Cultural Landscape: An Introduction to Human Geography - James M. Rubenstein
This, as you may have guessed (you smarty) is my geography textbook. Somehow or other, it takes me about twelve years to get through one page of this book. Don’t get me wrong, it’s interesting as hell, if you think hell is interesting, or interesting as something else, like rainbows (besa el arcoíris??) if you don’t. Point being, the information is interesting, but the way it’s written can be… sometimes not.
Find it here if you want it, which you probably don’t.
Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut
I read this book for English. I can’t decide if I liked it or not. That is to say that I enjoyed the story (I think), but it’s always hard to tell with books read for school. A book read for any reason other than your own desire to do so is one that I believe will not be best enjoyed. Even a book recommended by your fellow book-loving friends (bless their hearts) will not be quite as climactic as one you’ve selected yourself. That’s just the way it is. I am, however, a big geek* for books set in World War II, which it partially is, and books so dripping with wit and weirdness that you find yourself cleaning the table with a dishrag every time you pick it up. Which it is.
Find it here if you want, which you might.
45 Arias - Handel
This is the new voice book that I just bought today. As is evident, it’s Handel, which is classical, which is opera. Opera is a word that either scares people and makes them run away and hide or fall on the floor of Costco and laugh until they pee themselves, so we’ll stay away from it for now. Classical is so fun. If you’re into singing, I would, in all honesty, highly recommend it. It sounds like it wouldn’t be, but just take my word for it and know that it is.
Find the book here.
Holt McDougal Online - Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Otherwise known as my.hrw.com. HRW, and who knows what that stands for, will be the death of not only me, but also my entire math class, and most likely the teacher’s seven or so other periods. There is no way to describe this abomination except to say that it makes me not like math. I LIKE MATh. Shoot me. Except actually please do not shoot me, or anyone for that matter. I would strongly advise against it. Anyway, HRW, whatever the heck it means, is horrible, and even just typing about it makes me want to forcefully tear out sections of my hair. And I like my hair very much.
You don’t want to find this book.
The Boston Girl - Anita Diamant
This novel is what I am (not really) reading in my free time. I say "(not really)" because I hardly have any free time at the moment, what with auditions foR PETER PAN WHIch I haven’t discussed on this blog but what’s to say right now anyway, and with other things such as an essay which I should possibly be working on right this very moment instead of going over the five-hundred word suggested guideline in this blog post, etc. Anyway, I like this book a lot so far and would recommend it to people who like books such as this.
Find it here.
The Odyssey - Homer
Although I did read The Odyssey for school, I actually did mostly not dislike it. I’ve taken to calling Penelope “Penny,” which is super cute and lovely and if you’re having a child soon, which you’re most likely not because as far as I know, most of the people reading this are either teenage girls or my English teacher, who is a grown man, but if you are, you should name your child Penelope and call her Penny. Unless it’s a boy, or some other gender, in which case, name him/her/WHY IS THERE NO GENDER NON-SPECIFIC SINGULAR PRONOUN IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IT RUINS MY LIFE ALONG WITH HRW.COM whatever you would prefer. On second thought, name your child whatever you would prefer anyway. Unless it’s Derfla, which is Alfred backwards and comes up when you look up “most horrible name ever” on Google, in which case I beg you not to do that.
(If you really want The Odyssey, you can most likely find it anywhere.)
Other books I strongly recommend are Life After Life, I’ll Give You The Sun, Eloise in Munich (that’s a thing, right?) NO IT’S MOSCOW SORRY, Eloise in any other place at any time such as Christmastime or Paris, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Howl's Moving Castle, anything by Sophie Kinsella, and the Harry Potter Series. That should give you some variety.
Not quite Alice, but close enough.
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*I’ve determined through extensive research and intense questioning that geek is a term used to describe a person who likes weird things, a dork is a person who does weird things, and a nerd is simply someone who’s smart. But really I think you should use them however you’d like. It is, after all, your book.
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