if you're down, this'll cher you up

This morning I woke up with a sore throat, which sucks. I’m sure I’ll be fine by seven o’clock tonight, when I have a performance, but it’s really one of the more uncomfortable sensations that one can experience. To cheer myself up a bit/rest-without-sleeping-because-I-woke-up-at-seven-thirty-and-couldn’t-fall-back-asleep, I decided to look at Cher tweets.

If you haven't been welcomed into the land of Cher's tweets, allow me to invite you to be so. From here.

First of all, Cher is a diva and a goddess. I mean, just look at this woman.

Cher also donated 181,440 bottles of water to Flint, Michigan, residents in response to her disgust at the situation.

She’s an icon, obviously, and completely gorgeous in all stages of her life.

She even rocked '80s exercise-wear. Who can pull that off? From here.

For those unenlightened by the world of Cher’s tweeting, allow me to give some insight. Cher has become famous (as if she weren’t before) for her strange tweeting habits, including CAPS LOCK and using lots of emojis (especially the ghost). A lot of her tweets make no sense, and some are just outright sassy as hell. So, without further ado, let me CHER with you some of my favorite Cher tweets (I couldn’t help myself.).

Cher just saying hello:

"@cher  hi"

Cher on her job:

"Whats going on with mycareer"

Cher on technology:

"Something  is  amiss  with iPad"

And:

"ipad freezing up! Maybe it's overwhelmed,because it Just realized A Fabulous DIVA Was touching it ! Can't really Blame it, "SNAP OUT OF IT""

Cher getting desperate:

"Please RT"

Cher on politics:

On Donald Trump skipping the FOX Debate:

"Trump NOT Doing FOX Debate Cause Of MEGAN KELLY😂Some1 Get Him TOE SHOES,fking PRIMA DONNA. HOW CAN HE FACE ISIS,HE CANT FACE A CHICK ON TV.🐕"

On Trump again:

"@[person]

Donald Trump Can't come up with a hairstyle that looks human,how can he come up with a plan to defeat ISIS."

And again:

"I'll NEVER GO TO MACY'S AGAIN ! I didnt know they sold Donald Trump's Line! If they don't care that they sell products from a LOUDMOUTH"

And... again:

"@[person] IF HE WERE TO BE ELECTED,IM MOVING TO JUPITER😖"

When asked if she liked Ted Cruz or Donald Trump better:

"@[person] that's like saying "would you rather have a Migraine or Throw Up""

Still a teen at heart:

"Talked for 3 hrs!

R we teens ?

Yah !

Just old ones !"

When someone called her ugly:

"@[person] ITS CHER YOU'RE UGLY.It may be true,all things change,but i have invisible Powers that make up for what I lack in looks🌟

BYE💋"

Someone called her old:

"@[person] @[other person] I AM OLDER THAN FIRE,& TWICE AS HOT !!!"

Someone else called her old:

"@[person] U GOT THAT,Bitch '"

Someone told her she looked old:

"@[person] Thats cause I'm 98 ! I think I look Quite"Well Preserved "4 my age! What til u r 1/2 my age & twt me again,Sweetcheeks! Nite"

Cher, the tween?:

"Just walked in ! God,It's Fun Being a Tween 👻"

Cher, acknowledging her flaws:

"Just cause i cant spell or know Grammar doesn't mean i don't know Many things! HISTORY, Ancient Religion,War,Could go on,but id b a pain !"

Cher being Cher:

"Got to go back & polish my Cher impersonation"

This profound question:

"Can anyone c me"

Cher on kittens:

"Later Kittens r up to no good.

OMG KITTENS ARE HARD CORE"

This??:

"GAY UNIVERSE WILL HAVE

"Exquisite"lighting RT[...]"

When Cher couldn't make up her mind:

"@[person] think fk u & bless u at the same time !"

When someone called Cher something BAD:

"@[person] Oh stop ! You'll give me a SWELLED HEAD ! Read it in my Voice, then add Fk u at the end 💖"

Someone told her to "stick to music cher. plenty of know it alls telling people whats good for them as it is then slip and die in their tub." Her reply:

"@[person]

Don't WANT TO HEAR ONE Word of your uneducated

Opinion.

I'll take My chance in the bathtub!Go

unclog your

Arteries"

Cher on herself (in reply to "Do I need some kind of degree to decipher @cher's tweets?"):

".@[person] No,but u might need 2unfollow her.The Bitch is Obtuse, Opinionated,OutThere,Obviously Unstable,Original,but ONESTLY Who Cares"

Onestly, who does?

When someone told her that @cher means 'cheap' in French ("#themoreyouknow"):

".@[person]

ACTUALY..... It Means......

"EXPENSIVE" ..

& "DEAR"

1.C'est Trop Cher !

2. Je reviendrai mon Cher💘"

This sick burn (in response to "@cher DID THE REAL CHER TWEET ME? No because YOU NEVER TWEET ME #ANGRY #CHERCREW"):

".@[person]

Would you Like some Cheese With That WHINE,

NASTY BRAT"

When this happened:

Wishing everyone a happy V-Day:

"Happy Valentine's Day ‼️Sorry I'm so late,

WAS busy all day till

Now & 4got everything ‼️

Have some young friends 4movie, popcorn & candy, bye"

Not to mention her bio:

"Stand & B Counted or Sit & B Nothing. Don't Litter,Chew Gum,Walk Past Homeless PPL w/out Smile.DOESNT MATTER in 5 yrs IT DOESNT MATTER THERE'S ONLY LOVE&FEAR"

In conclusion:

"O well life is hard & then u die RT @[person] @cher Did you know you're known for having the most difficult to understand tweets over here?"

Now that you've read these tweets, I'm sure you're life is more fulfilled. You're welcome.

Cher:

".@[person]

I DONT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE.....

IM CHER 👻"

(From here.)

Follow @cher on Twitter for more entertaining tweets like these.

Thanks for sticking with. I'm going to go drink some tea.

xx